i aM WHaT i aM

Sometimes I am mad,
Sometimes I don't,
Somestimes I can be childish,
Most of the time, I don't,

Can you read me,
When me myself don't,
Tell me when I am moody,
And when I don't,

Whatever you think,
I might be me,
Or it might don't,
Cause look can be deceiving,

If only you knew me,
The true me,
You might happen to like me,
Cause I am unique,

Whatever it is,
I am who I am,
I am what I am,
And I won't pretend.

"Original poem is dedicated to Nor Zarina Bt Abdol Jabar. This poem has been edited for this blog."

GRuNGe BaND : NiRVaNa (PaRT 4 - FiNaLe)

Aftermath

In the years following Nirvana's disbanding, both surviving members remained musically active. Not long after Cobain's death, Grohl recorded a series of demos that eventually became the debut album for Foo Fighters. Foo Fighters became Grohl's main project, releasing several commercially successful records over the next decade. Beyond Foo Fighters, Grohl also drummed for numerous bands, including Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Mike Watt, Queens of the Stone Age, Tenacious D, Nine Inch Nails, and Killing Joke. He also recorded an album of metal songs featuring many of his favorite early-80s metal singers under the name Probot.

After the end of Nirvana, Novoselic formed Sweet 75. Later, he founded Eyes Adrift with Curt Kirkwood (formerly of the Meat Puppets) and Bud Gaugh (formerly of Sublime). He also performed in a one-off band called the No WTO Combo with Kim Thayil of Soundgarden and Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys that coincided with the WTO Meeting of 1999. In December 2006, Novoselic replaced bass player Bruno DeSmartas in the band Flipper for a UK/Ireland tour and several US shows. Novoselic also became a political activist, founding the political action committee JAMPAC to support musicians' rights. In 2004, he released a book titled Of Grunge and Government: Let's Fix This Broken Democracy, which covered his musical past as well as his political endeavors.

Posthumous Releases

Several Nirvana albums have been released since Cobain's death. The first came in November 1994 with the release of the band's performance for MTV Unplugged, MTV Unplugged in New York. Two weeks after the release of Unplugged in New York, a video compilation of Nirvana performances, titled Live! Tonight! Sold Out!!, was released. Cobain himself had compiled a significant part of the video, which documented much of the Nevermind tour. The original intention was to release the MTV Unplugged set in a double-disc package, along with a second disc of live electric material to balance the acoustic set. However, for the two surviving band members, sorting through Nirvana recordings so soon after Cobain's passing became too emotionally overwhelming. The live disc, a compilation of Nirvana concert recordings, finally saw release in October 1996, titled From the Muddy Banks of the Wishkah.

In August 1997, online music news website Wall of Sound reported that Grohl and Novoselic were organizing a box set of Nirvana rarities. Four years later, the band's label announced that the box set was complete and would see release in September to coincide with the 10th anniversary of the release of Nevermind. However, shortly before the release date, Love filed an injunction to stop the box set's release and sued Grohl and Novoselic, claiming that Cobain's former band mates were hijacking Nirvana's legacy for their own personal interests. What followed was a protracted legal battle over the ownership of Nirvana's music that lasted for more than a year.

Much of the legal wrangling centered on a single unreleased song, "You Know You're Right", the band's final studio recording. Grohl and Novoselic wanted to include the song on the box set, essentially releasing all of the rarities at one time. Love, however, argued that the song was more important than just a generic "rarity", and should be included on a single-disc greatest hits compilation. After more than a year of often public and sometimes bizarre legal maneuvering, the parties settled, agreeing on the immediate release of the greatest hits package including "You Know You're Right", titled simply Nirvana. In turn, Love agreed to donate cassette demos recorded by Cobain for use on the box set.

The compilation album, Nirvana, was released on October 29, 2002. On top of "You Know You're Right", the album contained hit singles from their three studio albums as well as several alternate mixes and recordings of familiar Nirvana songs. The box set, With the Lights Out, was finally released in November 2004. The release contained a vast array of early Cobain demos, rough rehearsal recordings, and live tracks recorded throughout the band's history. A best-of-the-box compilation titled Sliver: The Best of the Box was released in late 2005. The CD compiled nineteen tracks from the box set plus three previously unreleased tracks, including a version of the song "Spank Thru" from the 1985 Fecal Matter demo tape. In a 2002 interview with Jim DeRogatis, Love described the countless rehearsal tapes, demos, and bedroom recordings that were left behind after Cobain's death.

In April 2006, Love announced that she had arranged to sell twenty-five percent of her stake in the Nirvana song catalog in a deal estimated at $50 million. The share of Nirvana's publishing was purchased by Primary Wave Music, which was founded by Larry Mestel, a former CEO of Virgin Records. In an accompanying statement, Love sought to assure Nirvana's fanbase that the music would not simply be licensed to the highest bidder, noting, "We are going to remain very tasteful and true to the spirit of Nirvana while taking the music to places it has never been before".

Further releases have since been made. This includes releasing Live! Tonight! Sold Out!! on DVD in 2006. Furthermore, a full uncut DVD version of MTV Unplugged in New York was released in 2007.

KoRuPSi

Aku terpanggil untuk menulis selepas membaca hasil dari seorang blogger (sila rujuk kepada blog milimilo.blogspot.com). Kali ni aku ingin menceritakan kisah dimana aku telah ditahan oleh polis kerana memandu sambil bercakap menggunakan handphone tanpa menggunakan hand free. Kisah ini terjadi pada tahun 2004, semasa aku bekerja di seuah kilang di Gombak. Seperti biasa, aku pulang dari kerja pukul 5:30 petang. Aku menyusuri jalan Kuching untuk ke Lebuhraya Sungai Besi. Sambil memandu, aku memutuskan untuk menelifon kawan aku. Aku berbual dan memandu seperti kebiasaan. Tanpa kusedari, sebuah kereta peronda lalu disebelah keretaku. Mereka memandang kepada aku. Kemudian mereka mengarahkan aku untuk berhenti. Kerana sudah tahu aku bersalah, aku pun berhentikan kereta aku.

Seorang anggota polis kemudian keluar dari kereta peronda. Aku menurunkan cermin kereta ku. Bermulalah dialog ini. Anggota polis tersebut meminta aku mengeluarkan lesen memandu dan kad pengenalan aku. Aku mengeluarkan lesen memandu dan kad pengenalan aku dan memberikan kepada anggota polis itu.

Anggota polis: Awak tahu apa kesalahan awak?

Aku:
Tahu encik, memandu menggunakan telefon bimbit.

Anggota polis:
Kalau dah tahu, kenapa awak buat juga?

Aku:
(terpaksa menipu) Ada sedikit kecemasan tadi encik.

Anggota polis:
Kenapa awak tak berhentikan dahulu kereta awak?

Aku:
(malas hendak melayan) Maaf encik, saya tahu itu kesalahan saya.

Anggota polis:
Saya terpaksa saman awak ni (sambil mengeluarkan buku saman). Awak tahu berapa saman kerana kesalahan awak ni? Awak mampu ke bayar saman ni? (sambil cuba untuk cari kesalahan lain, check road tax kereta dan perhatikan plet kereta aku)

Aku:
Tak apa encik, encik saman je la saya, dah memang menjadi kesalahan saya.

Anggota polis:
(masih belum mahu menulis apa-apa di buku samannya) Awak kerja apa ni? Gaji awak banyak sangat ke? (mentang-mentang aku pakai baju kilang, ingat aku ni haprak ke?)

Aku:
Saya kerja kilang dekat Gombak jer encik. (dalam hati aku sudah mula marah, kenapa tidak saman sahaja aku)

Anggota polis:
(membuka pintu kereta sebelah pemandu dan melihat bungkusan plastik yang ada di bangku tersebut sambil membelek, masih ingin mencari kesalahan lain bagiku. secara kebetulan, sampah sarap kotak rokok aku memang aku simpan supaya tidak terlalu mencemarkan jalan raya) Ni apa ni?

Aku:
(aik, main bukak pulak pintu kereta aku, mana boleh macam ni, dah melanggar hak privasi aku ni) Sampah rokok saya encik.

Anggota polis:
(sudah bosan kerana aku tidak offer untuk memberikan apa-apa kepadanya, menulis saman di buku samannya. Hanya selepas 10 minit menahan aku) Saya dah tulis ni dekat buku saman saya ni. Jadi dah tak boleh buat apa-apa lagi dah ni.

Aku:
Tak apalah encik, dah memang kesalahan saya. (jangan harap aku nak kasi duit kopi dekat ko)
Anggota polis itu memberikan saman, kad pengenalan dan lesen memandu kepada aku. Dia kemudian memasuki kereta perondnya. Aku berlalu pergi.

Aku masih lagi merasakan yang aku membuat perkara yang betul. Walaupun aku terpaksa membayar saman RM 300, tapi what the heck. Aku tidak ingin menjadi orang yang menghalalkan korupsi. Aku harap, masih ramai yang macam aku. Kerana aku percaya, sekiranya tiada orang yang memberi, maka tiadalah orang yang menerima.

"Marilah kita membina bangsa dan negara yang bebas dari korupsi."

i aM NoBoDy

For the thousand times, I feel like I am stranded. Stranded with my works, the company I work for and stranded in life? I need to move forward. But I don’t know how. In the world nowadays, brain alone would not help us to become someone. The most important things nowadays are the connection. The phrase who you know becomes more significant compare to what you knew. It is just unfair. Unfair for someone like me who knew nobody. Can I be success in life? The answer is absolutely yes. But I have to work twice harder than those who use their connection.

I am
getting old. As each year passed by, I am getting near to death. But yet, I am still far away from my goals. I am still nobody. I am still without my qualification. I am still far away from wealth and I am no near to success. I still pray, one day I can become a successful, qualified and wealthy person.

If
this becomes reality, I will be proud of myself. Proud with the effort and the struggle I have gone through. As it is, my pure effort to become successful, qualified and wealthy person.

KaRYa SaMPaH???

Aku merasakan aku perlu menyajikan sesuatu untuk membina minda para pengunjung blog aku. Sejak akhir-akhir ini, aku mula merasakan nukilanku penuh dengan hasil-hasil yang kalau di baca oleh minda-minda berjiwa sastera akan dikategorikan sebagai hasil karya tong sampah atau karya picisan. Tapi, percayalah, aku sudah memberikan yang terbaik dari diriku.

"Aku bukan seorang penyair, penyajak atau pun sasterawan".

Seorang sahabatku pernah memberikan ulasan bahawa karya milikku terlalu mirip kepada seorang yang bukan berjiwa sastera. Atau dengan kata selengkapnya, karya milik orang nombor. Aku akui, setelah meninggalkan bangku persekolahan, aku terlalu banyak bergaul dengan nombor dari dengan perkataan. Jadi, maaflah sekiranya coretan-coretanku, tidak mampu menjadi sebuah karya agung.

Adakah kita boleh dilabel? Adakah label yang diberikan boleh bertukar? Aku pun kurang arif mengenai perkara-perkara ini. Tapi, aku pernah mengikuti sebuah kursus kepimpinan, dimana, penceramah itu ada menyatakan bahawa manusia ini boleh berubah-ubah.

"Manusia berubah mengikut keadaan sekeliling".

Aku pasti ramai yang tidak bersetuju dengan pendapat aku ini. Tapi, cuba kita renungkan kehidupan kita dahulu dan kehidupan sekarang (perlu diingat, faktor kematangan tidak boleh di ambil kira dalam situasi ini). Tapi percayalah, bahawa ada sedikit kebenaran didalam kenyataan tersebut.

Betapa kerdilnya aku jika dibandingkan dengan mereka yang menghabiskan masa lapangnya dengan membaca. Aku akui, dua tahun terakhir ini, aku amat kurang membaca. Tapi, aku masih dahagakan ilmu. Sebab itu, aku rajin membuka rancangan dokumentari apabila menonton astro. Banyak yang aku pelajari di sini. Betullah kata guru ku dahlu, ilmu akan lebih kekal sekiranya ianya dalam bentuk visual daripada bentuk bacaan. Tetapi, membaca itu masih menjadi jambatan ilmu.

Rasanya, cukuplah nukilan ku untuk hari ini. Insya-Allah, akan ku cuba lebihkan penulisan yang menjadi santapan minda dan penulisan yang berkauliti, dari segi ayat, tatabahasa dan juga cara karyanya. Aku mahu transformasi diri ku, dari seorang nombor kepada seorang berjiwa sastera.